Don't go through too much trouble trying to hide, forget about, or dismiss your speckled past. So what if you've had a few scrapes, scuffles, and scandalous goings on? Just think of all the great stories and lessons you'll be able to share with your grandchildren one day.
I was just sitting here thinking about the stories my grandma used to tell me of her hell-raising and ho-hopping days in her 20s, and I smiled; thinking now of how I should have done way more dirt in my "youthier" youth. But then, to whose children would I tell those stories anyhow?  So, it's a good thing I'm a writer.

Be someone who finally does it, not someone who wishes s/he had done it.  Time is a commodity.  Use it.
If you want to write, to publish, to be read, there's no better time than now to see it through.  If you've stopped writing, just start again.  You'll never know if the words you could share will help others if you never share them.  Make the time to write because you want to.  You can do this.

Whenever Taps is played on Fort Drum, there is a double echo. I'm not sure if it's intentional, but time seems to stand still, and it makes me feel numb all over. This may sound weird, but whenever it plays, I feel sort of haunted.
I just commented to a few friends that I just got caught thinking again.
Taps is one of those songs that reminds you of where you were when it meant something when you heard it, and why.  For me, it reminds me that I am one of the less than one percent who have or will serve in the U.S armed forces.  I am one of the fewer than that who will serve in combat.  Of the fewer than that who will survive combat.  I am among those who should never forget. 
Perspective.  Self-awareness.  Connection.  Geez Louise.  People usually give me way too much credit for having more of any of that than I actually have; except for when Taps plays.  More than anything, I think it always puts me to bed with a better perspective. It helps me with that "don't go to bed angry" thing. I just go to bed thinking. And thankful.

Sometimes, happiness is as simple as lying in bed, eating Nilla Wafers, getting fat, getting crumbs all over the place, and not giving a damn.
While doing a little weekend spring cleaning, I found a box of stuff I'd had in storage since before my deployment, and came across a box of old cards and letters, from family and friends who'd written to me while I was in basic training, or college, or somewhere other than home. 
My (recently deceased) Uncle Greene wrote, in a letter dated over 20 years ago, "Beanie, be happy no matter what, because, 'life is too short to have sorrows.  You may be here today and gone tomorrow...'  I got that from a song, but it's true."  And then he drew a smiley face.  Lord, I miss him.
In another letter, also dated 20+ years ago, my Uncle Bro. wrote, "Don't let anything get you down.  And if it does, don't let it keep you there."  I miss him, too.  He's not deceased, just living back home in Georgia, while I'm up here in New York. 
Simply put...eat the cookies, for goodness' sake.  And savor the moments when being happy is as simple as that.

A couple of months ago, after participating in an event called Blackbird Fly, in Staten Island, NY, I decided to put together a writing project, under the New Renaissance Ink imprint to continue the momentum and the positive energy of that event.  I'm calling it the Blackbird Fly Project, and it will be the second annual project managed by the New Renaissance Ink "Let's Write for a Change" (LWC) Initiative.  The purpose is to not only inspire and mentor the young ladies, but to also give them a glimpse into how the writing and publishing business work.  I had to extend the original 31 May 2012 deadline, though.  I'm hoping to get a few more quality submissions by 31 August, so that we can possibly reach our target publication date of May 2013.
The first project, in 2011, was called the Up from Here Project.  If all goes according to plan, that project will launch a book in September of this year, and all proceeds will be donated to the Teaching for Change organization in Washington, DC.
This year, the Blackbird Fly Project is taking the LWC Initiative in a little different direction.  I'm opening it up to young writers in the age ranges of 10-21 years old, and I'm paying each contributor an advance of $100, with a royalty of 40%, to be divided equally between the contributors.
I'm really excited about it, but it's hard to gauge the level of enthusiasm from others is.  Folks say they want change.  They say they want opportunity.  And yet, it feels like a constant struggle to get people to do stuff more than just talk about stuff. 
But, I'll keep plugging away, anyway.  Here's hoping for more participation for the Blackbird Fly Project; but if not, maybe I can get the one contributor I have so far to consider writing and contributing more of her own work.  If I can offer just one person an opportunity that she might not have had otherwise, then that's still a good thing.

Although many of us celebrate Memorial Day as a day of exclusive remembrance for those fallen in combat, I am humbled and honored by all those who have reached out to me and my comrades who have served and are still serving, though we be not casualties of war.
The sentiment is overwhelming and difficult to put into adequate words of appreciation. It is a sobering reminder to me that, "there, but for the grace of God..."

1SG Billy Siercks (Pathfinder Co., 27 Sep 11)
CW4 David Carter (Extortion 17, 6 Aug 11)
CW2 Bryan Nichols (Extortion 17, 6 Aug 11)
SGT Patrick Hamburger (Extortion 17, 6 Aug 11)
SPC Alexander Bennett (Extortion 17, 6 Aug 11)
SPC Spencer Duncan (Extortion 17, 6 Aug 11)

Yes, it's a very long title, but after you read this book, you'll see that it fits.  And if you've ever been a friend or had a friend who's shared and cared through a lifetime, then you'll enjoy Husbands May Come and Go, But Friends Are Forever.  Yes, even if you've never had a husband. 

I can easily see why Husbands May Come and Go, But Friends Are Forever, hereafter shortened to Husbands, by Judith Marshall, has been optioned for the big screen.  It's one of those stories that will make you laugh out loud and cry silently, with many heaving sighs sprinkled throughout. 

Marshall has written a book that makes me glad that I love to read.  Part of the reason it took me a while to write this review is because I was casting the characters in my mind.  It was a quick read, but I really wanted to take time to think about my characters.

Husbands is a story of a group of friends who have known and supported each other through decades of life, struggles, tragedies and triumphs, five of whom have to come together once more in the wake of the unexpected and mysterious death of the sixth.

Although Marshall's characters, Liz, Karen, Arlene, Gidge, Rosie, and Jo, are a generation of women who came of age in the 1950s and early 60s, they are like any group of girlfriends, from any place, from any time.  Having met as teenagers, they soon become something like "The Six Musketeers," making pacts and vows to never keep secrets and tell each other everything. Told from the point of view of Liz, the level-headed, Husbands is a series of thoughts, memories, and conversations, weaved together by a tragic event and the aftermath of the surviving friends trying to cope, understand, and heal, as well as uncover a couple of secrets untold.

Liz is the level-headed one, almost too level-headed for her own good.  She was a struggle for me at times.  She's only had one husband, Ricky, (a Tony Curtis or Robert Wagner type) who left her when the kids were still young.  We learn through a series of flashbacks, that Liz had trouble liking herself growing up, and I wondered if that trouble might have had something to do with her "trouble" with choosing a life with her smart, witty, good-looking, generous, kind, successful, emotionally stable, faithful boyfriend, Sam, (Gregory Peck, in my mind) after she'd lost her job to a company merger.  She got on my nerves, a little bit. 

Who would really be torn over the kinds of decisions Liz tortured herself with?  Oh yeah.  The same one who wouldn't be satisfied to be a Maureen O'Hara in a sea of Esther Williamses.  Geez Louise.  I'd make Grace Kelly, Janet Leigh, or Joanne Woodward my Liz.  Or, if Maureen O'Hara, I'd change Sam to Brian Keith.

Arlene is the friend that everybody either has, or is.  The one who is a shameless flirt, maybe even something of a floozy, who thinks she's more attractive than she really is, but makes up for her genetic shortcomings with self-esteem.  If you don't have a friend like Arlene, you are Arlene.  She's also once divorced.  I would choose the girl who played Erin in "The Waltons," or the lady who played Flo on "Alice" to be Arlene.

Jo is the mostly mousy, but has some spunk (if you coax it out of her) friend.  She's found her footing after leaving her high school sweetheart-turned-abusive husband, later becoming highly successful in real-estate.  I would cast Sally Field for Jo.

Rosie, the only one who has never been divorced, and so can afford to be "so pious" (Liz' words) is the goody-goody of the group.  She's also an apparent health nut, who likes to run.  I dig Rosie for being a middle-aged mama who's still got all of her act together.  She's the cryer, the emotional center, or emotional wreck of the group, depending on the time of day.  For Rosie, I'd go with Jane Powell.  Think Millie, in "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers."

And then there's Gidge.  Fabulous Gidge.  Married four times, and proud of every bit of it.  She's the crap-talking, while taking no crap, wise-cracking, calling it like she sees it, fun one.  I call her the hub of the circle. It was Gidge who brought the others together.  My Gidge would be Lucille Ball, red hair and all.  Or Rosalind Russell in her Mame-like character.

And finally, there's Karen, the fallen angel.  To say that Liz worshiped Karen would be about accurate, which is why I had trouble with the fact that Liz "was never able" to tell Karen how much she loved her.  That bothered the crap out of me.  You've been friends for 40+ years.  Surely, the opportunity to tell each other, "I love you," must have presented itself a few times.

Karen, who had been married three times, has layers and layers that are peeled back slowly by Liz and the others, who spend days contemplating what led to or contributed to her untimely accident.  We see the sweet side, the vulnerable side, the bold, mischievous, fun-loving side, the warm and nurturing side.  But was it an accident?  And if it wasn't an accident, who was the culprit?  I was glad this book didn't lend itself too much to the whodunnit, or did-they-do it angel.  She would have been played by a young-to-middle aged Farrah Fawcett, or Marylin Monroe.

Well, to say the ending is happy would be an untruth; but there is happiness and healing, which is why I gave this book a full five stars, instead of the four that Liz kept asking for.  After over 3/4 of the way through the book, the mystery of Karen's death unravels into a neat pile of heart strings (not sure how much I really liked that explanation, seemed somewhat out of place); while Liz's life finally weaves itself together into a comfortable place, the minor snags working themselves out. 

At the end of Husbands, I found myself pleased.  Obviously, I recommend this book to others.  And I'd be interested to see who other readers cast in certain parts.

There's that time thing, again.  I meant to write a post in April.  Several times, I meant to write, but time got away from me. 
I wish I could remember what it was that I wanted to share, but since I can't, I'll share this:  Life is a freakin' time suck. 
I know that's not news, but it's where I find myself at this moment.  Wishing I could go somewhere and just not be bothered by anyone or anything that isn't directly related to my writing, publishing, or creative processes. 
I find myself peeved at people and situations that have distracted me from my intentions.  The recurring theme in my head is, "Leave me the fuck alone."  But you can't say that when you have a full-time job, or people who depend on you to do it.  *Sigh*  I've GOT to work on my time management skills.