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This is a No Black-Shaming Zone

1/19/2015

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Today was my first MLK Jr. Holiday, since 1986, that I didn't take part in some observance activity. Only due to the holiday being earmarked as a day of service has it been extra heavy, chronic over thinker that I am. Like I should've been doing something to honor the contributions and sacrifices of Dr. King and others, and not just soak up the benefits.

Never mind that my whole life has been dedicated to serving others, or that I try to be a cheerful giver and helper-outer throughout the year, over the years. And although I try to show my respect and appreciation and honor to the way-makers in how I live my daily life, I admit that felt like a conscious effort to attend a parade, participate in a march, serve in a soup kitchen, or help beautify a community, or something was in order. Best laid plans and all that.

Instead, I pretty much slothed my way through the day, couch potato style, though not without a lingering tinge of guilt. At first, I called it "black guilt," but I actually think it's more like "servant guilt." I'm sure (more than ever) that I was meant to do something with my life that serves others, so taking a break, at any time, for any length of time, just feels off to me. Hence, this post-retirement stir.

Mock, if you must. Judge me, even, but some of y'all know what I'm talking about.

I didn't share this to try and make anybody feel some type of way about what they did or didn't do. I don't presume to know what other folks should or shouldn't be doing with their time and resources. I certainly don't know what any of you do all day, every day, all year round, so far be it from me to question or ‪#‎blackshame‬ or ‪#‎servantshame‬ anybody. Just thinking my thoughts the way I think them. That's all.

Here's hoping that everyone had a good day doing whatever you did or didn't do, and those who were on holiday were able to enjoy it in your own way.

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The Working Won't Do List  - Part 1

1/10/2015

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Ever notice how much easier it is to stay convicted by what you won't do than it is to stay committed to what you intend to do? Thought I'd try something a little different than the usual new year's fare of presenting myself with a fixed list of "will do," and instead, compose a running list of "won't do."

These are a few won't dos that I've come across so far this year. A couple of these are icebergs, and a couple are random new discoveries from over the last nine days. I... won't:

1. Go hungry. Anything that even whiffs of self-deprivation is a no-go in Swintville. I admire all of the folks with the discipline and desire to eat less for certain desired results, but whenever I find that portion control is not working for me, I'm eating whatever I want. And none of that "I forgot to eat during the day, so I woke up at midnight hungry" stuff, either. I'll just have to work out harder. Or not.

2. Be cold. Again, there are are whole lot of people who are more disciplined than I am when it comes to climate control. I've been a guest at folks' houses and been cold while they knew it. That's some heartbreaking mess. I refuse to be cold in my own house.

3. Miss new release movies waiting on someone to go with. I'm tired of waiting for stuff to come to DVD. I'm about that big screen life.

4. Stop using petroleum-based products because they are generally frowned upon in the natural hair and skin care community. Sorry not sorry, all of you hard core, better informed and more deeply committed than I all natural folks. My lips like Vaseline. And so do my knees, elbows, and the heels of my feet. And my edges don't seem to mind a little Blue Magic, once in a while, either.

I'm sure there will be more. It's still plenty early in the year.

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