Category: Time - Write on Time ~ R.Y. Swint

Write on Time ~ R.Y. Swint

30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 5 / Letter E

11/6/2013

Day 5 / Letter E: I'm thankful for email, education, elevators, empowerment, and encouragement.

I'm thankful for email, and free email addresses, although some of you fuckers out there abuse the hell out
of your contact lists with all the spam and blasting. Email is a pretty awesome invention, and it can be a really efficient form of communication. Can be.

I'm thankful for education and the educators who provide it. I'm sure I'll repeat this gratitude at least once more, when I get to the Letter T, and any other letter that presents the opportunity, because I think teachers should be thanked as often as possible. I've had some pretty awesome formal and informal educators, and I'm glad that I retained so much of what they tried to teach me.

I'm thankful for elevators, and not just the ones that carry lazy bastards like myself and freight up and down flights of
stairs. I'm thankful for people who elevate other people, and for all of the physical, spiritual and emotional support they provide. You rock!

I'm thankful for empowerment. It's not easy for someone who, by most statistical accounts, should have been a life failure, to stay any particular course or to press forward, despite any number of difficult circumstances; but
I'm very fortunate that I had people in my path who were not only my elevators, but my empowerers. Yes, I have enough education to know that that's not a word.

I'm thankful for the people in my past and present who were and are way-pavers and encouragers. You help me to expect more from myself, and have given me positive examples of how to encourage, elevate, educate, and empower
others. And not by blasting them with a whole bunch of funky-ass, empty-headed, soulless emails.

30 Days of Thankfulness - Days 1 and 2

11/2/2013

One of my friends put a cool new spin on her "30 Days of Thankfulness" this year, so I'm going to follow suit.
For each day of November, I'll try to share something for which I am thankful, using each letter of the alphabet. Not sure what I'll do for the last four days of the month, but you get the idea. Some days, it might get a little mushy, but other days, eh. No promises. 'Tis the season!
So, here goes:
A is for Army. I'm really grateful for the life experiences and the exposure that I might not have had if I had never joined the U.S. Army. (That's yesterday's letter.)

B is for battles (as in, battle buddies). These folks have been as close as or closer than family to me for more than half my life. I'm thankful for all of my battles, past, present and future. Here's your mush. I love you all.

Elevator Pitching: Back to the Drawing Board

10/20/2013

Every time someone asks me what my book, The Other Side of 30, is about, I find myself scrambling to fine tune my elevator pitch. I was at my cousin's wedding reception this weekend, and when the subject came up, and I was asked for the "one minute of less" summary, I completely botched it. So today, I worked on it a little more, and here's the latest one that rolled off my fingertips:

A young woman turns 30 and basically loses her mind, trying to hold on to her "last chance" at love before going "over the hill." The problem is that she sets her sights on an old boyfriend who is newly married, and his wife
is a friend of hers. From one decision to the next, her biological clock and better judgment are constantly embattled.
Regardless of knowing better, she finds herself willing to do, on the other side of 30, whatever she thinks it takes to get what she thinks she wants: A ring, a husband, a family, and such things that are suddenly so appealing about the "normal life" that she once rejected, but now she believes is passing her by.

I think I can rattle off that bit in a minute or less. I think.

As for substance, I also tried to toss in a few messages about how easily some people, even those who seem the strong, smart types, can become completely unfocused and lose sight of their own self worth to social pressures, real and perceived. I mean, let's face it. Perception is reality. Mix that in with a little bit of the "grass is not always greener" angle, and the "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" philosophy, and that just about does it. I just hope the delivery isn't too heavy-handed, but we'll see.

And of course, there are a few sex scenes sprinkled in for good measure, to help move the story along.
What I need is a good tag line. "Trying to make a future out of her past will make a mess of her present," is fitting, but it doesn't pop! And it doesn't speak to the whole biological clock/social pressures thing. And I repeat the word, "make," so it still needs work. Hmmm.

Good Thing I'm a Writer

6/17/2012

Don't go through too much trouble trying to hide, forget about, or dismiss your speckled past. So what if you've had a few scrapes, scuffles, and scandalous goings on? Just think of all the great stories and lessons you'll be able to share with your grandchildren one day.
I was just sitting here thinking about the stories my grandma used to tell me of her hell-raising and ho-hopping days in her 20s, and I smiled; thinking now of how I should have done way more dirt in my "youthier" youth. But then, to whose children would I tell those stories anyhow? So, it's a good thing I'm a writer.

Write Because You Want To

6/14/2012

Be someone who finally does it, not someone who wishes s/he had done it. Time is a commodity. Use it.
If you want to write, to publish, to be read, there's no better time than now to see it through. If you've stopped writing, just start again. You'll never know if the words you could share will help others if you never share them. Make the time to write because you want to. You can do this.

Eat the Cookies. Savor the Moments.

6/10/2012

Sometimes, happiness is as simple as lying in bed, eating Nilla Wafers, getting fat, getting crumbs all over the place, and not giving a damn.
While doing a little weekend spring cleaning, I found a box of stuff I'd had in storage since before my deployment, and came across a box of old cards and letters, from family and friends who'd written to me while I was in basic training, or college, or somewhere other than home.
My (recently deceased) Uncle Greene wrote, in a letter dated over 20 years ago, "Beanie, be happy no matter what, because, 'life is too short to have sorrows. You may be here today and gone tomorrow...' I got that from a song, but it's true." And then he drew a smiley face. Lord, I miss him.
In another letter, also dated 20+ years ago, my Uncle Bro. wrote, "Don't let anything get you down. And if it does, don't let it keep you there." I miss him, too. He's not deceased, just living back home in Georgia, while I'm up here in New York.
Simply put...eat the cookies, for goodness' sake. And savor the moments when being happy is as simple as that.

My uncles, the wise men, circa summer 1970. Larry (Bro.) Penn (holding me), our neighbor, "Toot" (standing in the middle), and my uncle Harvey (Greene) Penn (holding my cousin, Drucila)

I Meant to Write But Didn't

5/5/2012

There's that time thing, again. I meant to write a post in April. Several times, I meant to write, but time got away from me.
I wish I could remember what it was that I wanted to share, but since I can't, I'll share this: Life is a freakin' time suck.
I know that's not news, but it's where I find myself at this moment. Wishing I could go somewhere and just not be bothered by anyone or anything that isn't directly related to my writing, publishing, or creative processes.
I find myself peeved at people and situations that have distracted me from my intentions. The recurring theme in my head is, "Leave me the fuck alone." But you can't say that when you have a full-time job, or people who depend on you to do it. *Sigh* I've GOT to work on my time management skills.

Opportunity and the Big Dance

3/4/2012

I haven't always gotten the things in life that I said I wanted when I wanted them, but I've learned that sometimes, when we get things for which aren't prepared, we don't know how to accept, appreciate or enjoy them. Something tells me that now would be a good time for me to be diligent about my preparation. I don't want to be caught sitting here in fuzzy pink pajamas, chipped nail polish, hair plaits, and a face covered in Noxema when opportunity comes to sweep me off my feet for the big dance. And once we get there, I want to do more than just tap my feet.
What about you?

No Husband Yet? No Problem!

1/8/2012

Welp. Just finished a lengthy Sunday afternoon conversation with my mom, who advised me that she's willing to wait about 3 more years for me to have a baby. That's right around the time the mortgage will be paid off, and she can sell the house and travel with me and the kid.

Never mind I don't have a husband. "So, get a sperm donor," she says. "I don't mind you having a baby when you're old. I want a grand baby." Thanks, mom. Yeah. Thanks for that.

Did we somehow forget that I'm forty-fucking-three years old, and I don't even have a boyfriend? What's that? No problem?

"...The Army is full of men...Just stop being so picky. You don't even have to marry him...You don't need child support...You can afford a baby."

And the best one, "Just gotta think about how happy that would make me before I die...Pretty, pretty grand babies..."

Yes, she played the death card.

So, on the chance that there are others, and I know there are others out there who go through this with the people who love us (moms, dads, well-meaning friends, etc.), I just want you to know you're not alone. I've had this topic thrown at me so many different ways, from so many different angles, I can just about tell you what to say back and how to say it. Guaranteed to shut them up about it for at least a month...unless you chat every Sunday.

Writing on Time

1/6/2012

Six days into the new year means I'm late with my gratuitous post of reflections and ponderings of the last year. Worse, I've tried to write this post 3 times over the last hour, and my connection keeps dropping. Worst, I'm too stubborn to rewrite it in a Word document so that I won't lose it again, just in case I run out of time before the NEXT inevitable dropped connection. This is some bullshit.
But, then, that's what I get for being late as hell and being stubborn. And have the nerve to be impatient. This is what happens to a writer with tons of ideas that she can't write down fast enough, and can't remember once those ideas have gotten tired of waiting to be put to good use and escaped her chaotic head space.
I've written some great stuff on here in the last three attempts, and lost it because of some fricken fracken computer glitchy nonsense, which, by the way, I pay way too much money to be going through. Now it's gone forever. Much like time itself. The gift that doesn't keep on giving.
It is a gift of opportunity and chances (like the chance I'm taking that this shit won't drop me again); of decisions and circumstances, often of my own making; of situations, often of my own choosing. It doesn't come wrapped in a nice shiny bow. And despite my best efforts, I cannot save it in a pretty little box or bottle for later.
As time passes, I'm passing right along with it. I get it. I got it years ago, but something about this time of year brings it back to the forefront of my mind. And I know I'm not the only one. I just posted my thoughts six days later. Time. Only less of it.
Time is borrowed, much like credit. Eventually it runs out.
I changed the name of this blog to "Write on Time" because all cliches about time are true. It slips into the future, waits for no man, heals all wounds...or so they tell me. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
That, and I think it's a pretty cool play on words.
Anyway, I plan to spend this year getting my publishing company, New Renaissance Ink, off the ground, and publishing at least two works this fall, one of which will be the Second Edition of The Other Side of 30; but gracious alive, it's a lot of work. I'm working with a few authors already, talking mostly, at this point; but I hope that one of their books will be among the two that I publish this year. I've also got two nonfiction pieces bouncing around in my head, and maybe even a YA novel, which is totally new territory for me. I believe I've got the ducks lined up (couldn't think of a time cliche for that one), and I'm trying to move deliberately, if a bit tentatively, just to increase my chances of producing the best possible work for my readers and for myself.
All that said, I'm still learning to build platforms, audiences, brand recognition and all of that stuff that only writers care about. From this point forward, I hope to deliver words on this screen that readers care about. I'm building it, readers. Please come.
One of my brain children is to create an experimental blog segment and discussion forum, through comments and/or messages, as a Subject Matter Expert on the Art of Being Single. After all, The Other Side of 30 is basically about the life of a single girl, Sebrina Cooper, that goes awry, to put it mildly.
Let's see. That makes the acronym SMEABS. Hmmmh. That needs work.
But if I don't know shit else, I know how to be single. And write. And having done both for so long, I've gotten better than pretty good at them.
Maybe I'm supposed to remind as many others as possible, that being single is a conscious choice, not a chronic condition. And that's it's not the end of the world. On the other side of 30, 40, or beyond. Well, I don't know anything much about beyond yet, but you get the point. Maybe this is how I build my platform and readership, but also help some people along the way. Sebrina Cooper should have had the benefit of a SMEABS.
I've pretty much mastered being single, and all without the benefit of heavy medication or restraining orders. I've kept my hair and most of my sanity. That takes finesse. Skill. Okay, less skill and more life experience. And a lot of perspective. A dash of good genes, sure. Of course, a good portion of grace and gummi bears.
I mean, there has to be a really good reason for my being over 40, never been married, no kids, well-educated, pretty, and having dropped into and avoided more than my fair share of emotional pitfalls. But on the other side of all that, I have built a pretty comfortable life, maintained a steady career, and I'm living the drama-free life to which we all (at least say that we) aspire.
Just maybe being a SMEABS (Trying to get the name to grow on me) is part of my purpose, sharing lessons and experiences.
Anyway, if you or someone you know may benefit from some perspective and life experience, please tune in here often. We'll see how this thing pans out.
Whatever I do with the time I have left in this year and the rest of my life, I want to contribute something to making someone else's situations or circumstances better, their decisions are little more informed, and maybe their chances a little less risky. *Sigh*
Opportunity, here I come knocking.
There is more to come. I will be more active on this blog. That's not a resolution. It's a lifestyle change. ;)