Sure, I think a lot about ravishing him, in a wholly two consenting adults kind of way, in one of those perfect conditions, perfect opportunity, risk-free fantasies that only come up in romance novels or pornos, but that got me to thinking. What if the opportunity did happen to present itself? I mean, it's not astronomically unlikely. I'm single. He's single. And we are neighbors, after all.
Like at this moment, if he were to knock on my door and throw himself at me. I wouldn't be ready. It occurs to me that I wouldn't even let him cross the threshold.
My hair's not done. My nails are complete crap. I need a pedicure. I could use a few waxing touch-ups, and I could stand to lose SEVERAL pounds in a several select places.
Sometimes, I wonder just how much attention a man actually pays to a woman's body during sex. I know that men don't mind imperfection, any more than women do. I mean, it's not like you're starring in love scene on the big screen, or making a home porno, but still.
But how much do men really mind a little back fat, or muffin top, or a little extra meat on the thighs? Do they really notice when our legs aren't freshly shaved? Eh. Probably not.
The point is, we notice it on ourselves, and for me, well...I get a little embarrassed thinking about what he might be thinking. Yeah. Silly, I guess.
I just want to feel attractive. I want to feel like I look like somebody whose bones he wants to jump all the time. *Sigh* I miss being in a relationship. I mean, I ain't gon' miss no meals because of it, but I'm just thinking of how great it would be to look great when opportunity comes knocking...literally or figuratively speaking.
And for those women out there with steady beaus and husbands who have your periodic, but inexplicable losses of interest in sex, what is your deal? Sex on demand, and you have no interest?
Okay, if it's a vanity thing, I totally get it. That whole "I'm not feeling sexy right now," or "I need to tidy up" type of issue, I get it. The self esteem thing is heavy, and probably drives down the sex drive for most of us.
But for all else, such as that, "I'm tired," "I got a headache," "the kids are in the next room," (y'all KNOW you can have quiet sex), or "I'm mad at you right now" type of stuff, all the damn time...you bitches make me sick.
I mean really. What is up with that?
I totally get not wanting to be touched by, ogled at, or groped on by some guy in which you have absolutely no interest. And damnit, ain't nothing worse than when some jerk is all up in my face and space, assuming that just because I don't have a man, or, in this case, have the hots for another guy, that it's okay for him to come sniffing around and propositioning me. Wrong, buster. Get the hell away from me.
But hell, if you're in a relationship with, or married to him, what...the hell...is up? That's a completely rhetorical question, because I've already made up in my mind that if you say it's anything but vanity, you're on some lame-lazy excuse-making, denial-having, lying ass bullshit. If you don't want him, then why the hell are you with him? Y'all are the bitches who make me sick.
And don't get me started with those of you who've somehow settled up with the wrong poor bastard, for haste, or spite, or fear of failure. Or you call yourself being "bored" with him. You heffas really get on my nerves. Ain't nobody made you settle up with the wrong man. Got him thinking that all women want to pull the "hold out" card once they get a man; but no. It's just YOU. And your specific disinterest in HIM.
And please don't get it into your head that just because you don't want him that somebody else is just waiting for you to cut him lose so she can jump on him. If that's your line of thinking, oh grow up, already. And consider and check your own shady inner circle before you make general assumptions.
Despite what many ill-informed people would like to believe about single women, being single IS a conscious choice, not a chronic condition. I've been celibate for this long because I'm selective, not thirsty. It actually opens my mind for some pretty clear thoughts to jot down here and there. Including some pretty vivid sex scenes. But I digress.
I'm just saying that if you don't want to have sex with you own man, tell his ass the truth about why. Stop making excuses. Save everybody a lot of trouble.
Okay. I guess I'm done thinking, for now.